I only just now opened this and it's wonderful. I've been night-swimming in the ocean with no moon and it's actually the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Not even fun, like skydiving- just pure terror. So I had that sensation in my mind the whole time which means... I really liked the ending.
my favorite line may be "Stum, returning from the bathroom, wiping his nose with the back of his forearm then extending across the table to show off the Rolex pulling at the wiry little hairs on his wrist." the detail of the watch tugging at fine hairs very subtly tells me that the watch is heavy, maybe weighing that arm down. Maybe it's not comfortable to wear. and what can contrast the heaviness of appearance/ego like an upper? Very good stuff james.
Meant to reply to this four days ago lol, but thank you so much molly!!! Makes me so happy to hear that those little details all worked and made sense. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, this is very kind(:
So great, you get to so many different feelings here. I loved this.
Deirdre!!! This praise means a lot to me, you’re the best of the best. Thank you !!
"wielding" the voice is particularly fine
I only just now opened this and it's wonderful. I've been night-swimming in the ocean with no moon and it's actually the most terrifying thing I've ever done. Not even fun, like skydiving- just pure terror. So I had that sensation in my mind the whole time which means... I really liked the ending.
Ahh, thank you, Amelia! I appreciate this kindness so very much(:
my favorite line may be "Stum, returning from the bathroom, wiping his nose with the back of his forearm then extending across the table to show off the Rolex pulling at the wiry little hairs on his wrist." the detail of the watch tugging at fine hairs very subtly tells me that the watch is heavy, maybe weighing that arm down. Maybe it's not comfortable to wear. and what can contrast the heaviness of appearance/ego like an upper? Very good stuff james.
Meant to reply to this four days ago lol, but thank you so much molly!!! Makes me so happy to hear that those little details all worked and made sense. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, this is very kind(:
I hope his real name was Lee