15 Comments

Goddamn, dude. This reminds me so much of my first couple of months after getting sober…slightly different context, sure, but the visceral discomfort and deep awkwardness feels so fucking familiar. Well done.

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Thank you, Tom. That was the thing I most wanted to capture in this one, the weird feeling that your body becomes something totally foreign when you mistreat it for so long, that returning to it can truly feel so painful and unsettling. I’m so glad it came across.

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I was so lucky, in hindsight… good enough group of friends to bear with me for those first six months while I sat on the corner barstool chugging ice water… it was still a bastard, though.

Absolutely, it came across.

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For real, this hit so close to home it could not possibly feel more accurate.

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i had this saved since it dropped and tom's review finally gave me the push. full homo this is great.

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fullest possible homo, thank you troy<3

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I've been reading your stuff for months and it, noticeably, keeps getting even better. Continue to write, do not stop working on it. it is visibly paying off

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molly<3 <3 I needed to hear this, thank you very much.

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this is so damn good

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sometimes we just have to feel something.

this is why i'll never go to one of those dumbass ace throwing places.

emil is write (right) this is a good one jw

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Take your writing this seriously, always, in the future it will pay for your livelihood. How old are you? 23 I think you said at one point? Expect to hit your stride by the time you're 30-31, until then I'd suggest you keep writing in the vein you're headed and start seeking out indie lit mags, stack up some rejections for short stories and some pubs. And be sure you live as much life as possible because in the words Chuck Palahniuk wrote to me in correspondence "You're not going to look back from your deathbed and go, wow, I wish I had spent more time sitting at my desk writing." (Of course, this exact sentiment in a very roundabout way led me to being a criminal and going to prison, but the fault for it lies finally on my shoulders.)

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I appreciate this very much, Emil. My writing is one of the few things I approach with an absolute air of seriousness, it means quite a bit to me, maybe even my whole entire life. (I'm 28 so I'm just going to pretend that means I'm hitting my stride in just a couple years, that sounds very good to me lol). I needed the encouragement to send my shit out too and not just keep it confined to substack so thank you for that push.

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This is official unsolicited advice from The Editor.

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there are so many gorgeous lines here but that sentence where you describe how he’s sitting on the stool has such a precise life and beauty to it. I will be thinking about that for a long time.

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Send it. I was speed reading a bit because I have to today, but it looks pub ready. Out-fucking-standing.

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